Guardian Angel
by KateisLost
Summary: What wasn't said during the wonderful “I found my Guardian Angel.” scene.


**A/N:** First attempt at a fanfic, hope you all enjoy.

**Summary**: In-depth look at the last scene of "12:04"

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Moonlight, that right belongs to CBS.

**Guardian Angel**

The wind was calm as Mick St. John stood, still as a statue, on the balcony of his apartment. It was almost sunrise and a faint glow was forming on the horizon. In fact, in exactly 7 minutes time the sun would peek over the skyline and force the still figure back inside.

Vampires always knew when the sun would rise; it was another one of their 'gifts', and a very important one at that. They might not burst into flames the moment sunlight hit them, but it was still quite painful to face the day. And therefore important they knew the cycle of the sun.

But if a vamp remained in the sun for too long they would die. Mick knew that all to well, especially after the event in the desert. He had never felt so weak, so dangerous to the people around him. He still couldn't believe what Beth had done for him in that moment of need. To offer him her blood, her very life-force, was unfathomable. But she did it all the same.

He still didn't fully understand how, or why, she trusted him so much. He was a monster, a vampire, undead. And yet whenever she looked at him he no longer felt like a monster. He felt human again, human and in love with a beautiful woman. That was the scariest thing of all. He could never, NEVER forget what he was. He was dangerous and if he let that slip from his mind for even a second she would get hurt, and Mick knew he couldn't live with himself if he ever hurt her.

Even out on the balcony the smell of Beth's blood assaulted his senses. He had gotten home in time to see Shepherd about to slash open Beth's neck. He had dived at the serial killer and pulled him back as he sliced towards Beth. The knife missed her throat by no more then an inch. He'd pushed Beth away and yelled at her to get Audrey and run. At the time he was too focused on Shepherd to notice the small cut Beth had on her head. But after he had tossed a sheet over the dead vampire and ushered the two women back inside it was the first thing he saw. That bright red stain on Beth's forehead has caused his throat to tighten and his heart to ache. "_One more second_" Mick though, "_just one more second and she would have been dead. Killed by a vampire. Killed by something like me._"

Mick heard the door open behind him and footsteps approach. He didn't turn around, he already knew who it was and he couldn't bare the thought of Beth looking at him, those innocent, blue eyes filled with fear and disgust. He knew she had found the file, he had seen it lying on his desk when he did a quick check through of his house.

Beth approached him but he spoke before she could, hoping to avoid her anger and the past, if only for a moment longer. "How is she?"

Beth sighed softly, knowing Mick would be brooding after what had happened, brooding and blaming himself. If only he could see that being a vampire did not make him a monster. "Sleeping," she replied quietly.

He didn't hear the anger in her voice but he was sure it would come soon enough. "What did you tell her?" he asked, still facing the sleeping city, unable to face her.

"As long as Shepherd's gone for good she doesn't need an explanation." She paused, "But I do."

Mick tensed, trying to ready himself for the anger and yelling he was sure to come. He had never lied to Beth about what happened that night, but he hadn't told her the truth either. It was his fault Coraline had kidnapped Beth that night, his fault she had to face such a horrible ordeal as a child.

He always knew she would find out somehow, but he couldn't bring himself to be the one to tell her. As long as she didn't know he was the cause of her childhood trauma she would still look at him with trust in her eyes, just like she did all those years ago when he saved her from Coraline. He couldn't stand the thought of seeing her look at him and deem him a monster. But now she knew, and there was nothing he could do about it. She would call him a monster, a stalker, and then leave his life for good. It's better that way, he told himself, she can't get hurt if I'm not around. He told himself that over and over again, but it didn't make his undead heart hurt any less.

Beth continued, "I know who saved me when I was a little girl." Her voice was so soft that is nearly brought Mick to tears. Why wasn't she yelling? Why wasn't she calling him a monster? He had told himself he could take her anger and disgust, but he never could have thought that she would only give him quiet acceptance.

Still, he hung his head in shame of what he had done. "I think you've known for awhile," Mick said stiffly.

A small smile fluttered across Beth's face. "Maybe I have." She was glad he wasn't running away, but his arms were still stiff as they held onto the stone wall of the balcony. He clearly didn't want to talk about this but she had to make him understand. He wasn't the monster he thought himself to be; he was her savior, her guardian.

"What else do you know?" he asked, trying to keep his voice from cracking with emotion.

"That he had to kill a woman he cared about." Beth intentionally referred to her rescuer in third person, hoping it would make things easier for Mick.

He swallowed hard. "Maybe he would have done that anyway." This time the emotion broke through and his voice wavered.

"Maybe," she said. "But that night he did it to save me."

He spun to face her, tears barely being kept at bay. "How was I supposed to tell you?" There were bags under her eyes, proof that she'd had a hard, sleepless night. The cut on her head had stopped bleeding and she cleaned away the excess blood before coming to talk with him. Still, the sight of that red gash on her head made him ache to hold her, comfort her. But the scent of her blood was far too tempting. He was afraid he wouldn't be able to control himself if he got any closer to her.

"Why did you hide it?" she dropped the incriminating yellow folder on the balcony wall. "Made me think it was my imagination?" This time her voice held slightly accusation, but more then that it held genuine curiosity.

He slowly reached out to grab the folder but stopped, seeing no point in it. "You have every right to be angry," he said, defeated.

Beth felt tears of her own threaten. Why couldn't he see that she wasn't angry at him? Why was it so hard for him to accept that she could know what he was and still trust him? Was it so hard for him to see that he was a kind, caring person? Being a vampire didn't change that. If only she could get him to see himself the way she did.

"I'm not angry," she told him gently, "I found my guardian angel." Just saying the words caused silent tears to run down her cheeks. She had found him, after all her years of fantasizing over her savior she had finally found him. And he was better then anything her imagination could have created. It didn't matter that he wasn't human and had to drink blood to survive; he was still the one that made her feel safe.

Mick now felt the wetness of tears on his own cheeks but couldn't help but chuckle at being called a 'Guardian Angel'. Whoever would have thought that he, a vampire, could earn such a title?

Beth joined him with a small laugh of her own, fully aware of the irony of her statement. She reached up and wiped away a tear as she watch Mick gaze off towards the city, tears running down his face as well. He looked so handsome standing there in the early morning light that it brought a tiny smile to Beth lips.

"I just wished…" she paused for a moment, "I just wish he'd talk to me," she said gently.

Mick nodded absentmindedly, trying to will the tears away before he spoke.

"First I murder my wife and then I stalk you. It just gets better and better, huh?" Mick said, his voice thick with emotion.

Beth shook her head in soft denial, "No, I could have lived my life in fear, but somehow I always felt safe."

Behind Beth the sun finally rose above the horizon, bathing her its warm glow. Mick raised a hand to shield his eyes from the bright, painful light.

Beth looked over her shoulder at the sun, aware that their conversation would soon end.

"And now I know why," she said.

Mick stared at her, blocking the sun from hurting his sensitive eyes. Why was she still looking at him with such--dare he say it?-- love in her eyes? The sunlight was burning his skin and causing his hunger to rise. Even if she didn't comprehend the threat, he did. He was a monster, and he had to make her understand that.

"Now you know why it can never work," he said with conviction.

No! She had come too far to have him push her away now. "All I know is that ever since I met you, I've stopped using the word never." With that said, Beth slowly closed the distance between them, afraid he would run from her if she moved too fast. She captured his hand that was blocking the sun in hers, and moved it away from his face. She rested her other hand on his warm chest.

Mick closed his eyes has she leaned forward and placed a tender kiss on his cheek. For a brief moment he savored the feel of her being so close to him, her small hand delicately gripping the fabric of his shirt, while her other hand wrapped around his. Her soft lips brushing against his skin was almost more then he could take and Beth's neck was so close he could easily hear the ebb and flow of her blood. He barely kept his vampire hunger at bay when she slowly pulled away from him, her hand running down his chest as she stepped back.

She wouldn't leave him; she had made that clear enough. But he had to do something to push her away, to keep her safe. He glanced at her once more before ducking into his apartment, out of the painful sunlight. She was hurt by his sudden retreat, he could tell that much simply. But she wasn't nearly as hurt as she would become if they kept up this impossible relationship.

Beth sighed and leaned against the stone wall as Mick disappeared into the building. At least he'd talked to her, told her a little bit more of his past. He still didn't trust himself around her but she was making progress, and that was all she could hope for at this moment in time.


End file.
